What is change?
If you have identified that you want to make a change, it is helpful to understand change in the first place. The main thing to remember is that you can only change yourself. If you want to see changes in your life that are dependent on other people making a change, or on some external factor changing, then you are likely to be disappointed. This happens when you say to yourself:
“I will be happy if… (I buy myself something/I change my hairstyle/I change my body/I buy a car/I change jobs).”
If your happiness relies on an external solution, then it is unlikely to be reached. Happiness begins inside us and comes from understanding what really matters to you in life, then choosing to live your life in a way that honours these priorities.

Enjoy making change
Why does it seem that making changes in your life can seem so difficult?
If it were really just a case of making a decision to change, surely, we’d be living our ideal life already – in our ideal house with our ideal partner, at our ideal weight with our ideal bank balance, in our ideal job with a high degree of satisfaction.
So, what holds us back?
Making any change involves a level of uncertainty, as you seek to move from one place to another. If you are not comfortable with uncertainty (and most people aren’t), then making decisions to change anything can be unsettling. And the bigger the change, the more unsettling it can become.
Making a decision to change inevitably involves making a choice. For example, deciding to lose weight means you need to change the foods you eat – switching from chocolate to fruit, or walking rather than watching television. Whenever you choose one option, you are losing all the possible others for that moment. This loss of options can seem significant, which makes change difficult.
Remember your past is not your potential
Your past helps explain where you are currently standing, what your fears might be and where they have come from. Generally, our fears have a legitimate basis with the reasons found somewhere in our past. It is important to acknowledge the fear you hold and why you feel it. Acknowledge it, then choose not to let your past define you.
Step forward into where you wish to be, rather than to be held back by past experiences. Look forward and base your decisions on the information you have available. Life is much easier in hindsight. Living a life without regret requires you to focus on the present, on what you can do and what you want to create for yourself in the future.
Learn from your past experiences but never let the past limit what you believe you can achieve in the future. You cannot change the past. You can however choose to learn from it and take the lessons and choose not to have the same experience again.
Achieving your goals
It is never too late to make changes and to start achieving goals. Deciding to change part of your life is not dependent on your age, where you come from or what experience you have. Making a change is all about having a genuine desire to be different, do things differently, or to have a different life.
We tend to succeed in making changes when the benefits of change outweigh the costs. If you think about a change you are considering, ask yourself:
What are the positives of making this change? What are the negatives?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how much do you want to see this change?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how ok are you with things staying the same?
Is your desire for change great enough for you to face the uncertainty that comes from moving away from where you currently are?
Almost all of us have an aversion to change. While we hold a goal to reach a new point for ourselves, the uncertainty of whether we will, or if that point achieves what we are seeking, is what holds us still. We have to really want something different to move from the comfort of where we currently stand.
Sustaining your progress
Have you ever started off making a change? And then struggled to sustain your motivation?
This might be because you are adopting an all or nothing approach. Or you may have set yourself huge goals that you expected to achieve in one go, and when you found this hard, you gave up believing it to be impossible. Understanding what it takes to make a successful change can alter this.
Break large goals into smaller achievable steps that you can conquer, one at a time. Monitor each step you take and celebrate each success. This will keep your focus and motivation high as you prove to yourself, you can do this.
Realise that relapse is normal. Expect it to happen and forgive yourself when it does. Rather than considering this a failure, acknowledge it is normal to happen and be gentle with yourself. Hopefully a lapse reminds you of why you want to change and gives you an extra push to continue.
Understand that making change means altering habits, which requires patience and tolerance for yourself. Achieving change is difficult. We often do not like to change, and to be successful, we must really want it. Even then relapse is normal. Having supportive people around you helps when you are feeling down or without energy and drive to continue, but you need to be your own best friend and cheerleader.
Take small steps and keep moving forward, and before you know it all those small steps will have taken you much further than you ever thought was possible. Contact us if you would like support to plan and achieve change.
Author Bio

Deborah Knight is the founder of Xsead Lead with a background in organisational and individual leadership and executive coaching.
As a coach, Deborah aims to create an inclusive and respectful space where individuals and organisations can do the work necessary for growth and change. She is also passionate about helping women be valued for themselves while also contributing and being successful.
Apart from her company which she is deeply passionate about, Deborah also loves bushwalking, reading, travelling, and learning new things.
For any coaching or organisational support enquiries Deborah can be contacted via email: info@xseedlead.com.au or via her company website which is www.xseedlead.com.au.